In honour of the fabulous quiz night held by the masters team at Bar Edward on the Saturday preceding our game, the following match report will be written in the format of just that…a quiz. So without further ado…hands on buzzers…here we go…

Question One. Was the weather on Sunday…
A. Absolute cracker…had to put on sunblock.
B. Not too shabby, but hey it is winter.
C. ABSOLUTELY BLOODY CRAP.

Answer: C – the weather was indeed rather inclement, however after a slight period of readjustment at the beginning of the game we simply let it dampen our bodies but not our spirits…

Question Two. Was Wellington United expected to be a threat to the Mighty BNU?
A. Yes they are top of the league
B. No, they’re coming fifth, and we did beat them 2-0 last time
C. No, they’re about as much of a threat as the first team are of winning the league…

Answer: B – Not that we rely on past results, but we did feel that we should maintain the upper hand in this contest. Our football on the day proved this to be true, our footballing vibe was far superior as were our skills. Some excellent balls to feet from all parts of the pitch helped us to control the game for the most part.

Question Three. Were any goals scored in the first half?
A. After much pressure and domination BNU scored one
B. Yep, Karen scored a hattrick
C. United scored an absolute fluke.

Answer: A – We again placed a lot of pressure on the defence of our opposition, United’s keeper kept them in the game on numerous occasions. Our aim was to have some more shots on goal, and slowly we are beginning to see the brilliance in this tactical suggestion (thanks John). Shots on goal mean chances to score, and at the end of the first half we had converted one of those chances.

Question Four. The talk at half time…what was the general message?
A. You guys are shit, I quit.
B. We have to convert more chances and stick to playing our game not theirs
C. Karen, you’re going to play striker this half, and Kush, you’re just not getting involved enough…

Answer: B – Fairly self explanatory, but yes, we needed to ensure we didn’t get dragged into their game of kick and chase, and continue to maintain our footballing integrity.


Question Five. How did the second half go?
A. As planned…pretty much. BNU continued to dominate and secured a comfortable win.
B. Good…if you’re a United fan…they came out guns blazing and scored six goals in rapid succession to win the game.
C. Don’t know…I went home cause the weather was so crap

Answer: A – The second half really was an extension of the first really (funny that). BNU again played some lovely football and were rewarded with two more goals. To their credit, United never gave up the ghost and the back four should be haunted by the goal conceded against the run of play for at least a week…

Question Six. The food after the game…any prizes there?
A. Bron…you’re margarine sculpture was superb…
B. Mmm…fruit fruit fruit…tasty AND good for you.
C. Good on you Mr. O’Leary…those asparagus rolls were delicious.
D. All of the above.

Answer: D – Well except for that wedding/bamitzvah/twenty first/funeral that borrowed the sculpture…and here’s the thing…if you come and watch any BNU home game you too could enjoy the fantastic and healthy hospitality we provide (so far Mo…you have got a fairly keen grasp on our super supporter of the year…wait till you hear what the prize for that is!!).

This was another super match report bought to you by Karen ‘I’ll-throw-beer-at-the-quiz-master-if-i-want-to’ O’Leary.